Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Someone has finally admitted to being a #BoomerMom

#BoomerMom
#BoomerMom, that is me. I admit it. It has taken me a while to come to the realization that none of us are getting younger. I wrote quite a bit in my iPad yesterday, but it lost connection while driving through the mountains of Virginia, so I lost all my work because it could not save.

I want this blog to express what it is like to be a #BoomerMom. I wondered about getting older, but as I looked in the mirror over the years, I keep seeing the same person I always was. My mother, who was a product of the Great Depression, used to tell me that after my stepfather died, she didn't have anyone to blame things on, like spilling milk, hiding the paper, etc. So, one day as she was walking down the hall, she saw herself as others see us and she was not pleased. Who was that "Old Woman" in the mirror? Soon, the Old Woman became the brunt of all things that went wrong.

A few years ago, I had breast cancer and lost my hair due to chemotherapy. When it began to grow back in, it came in curly (frizzy) and since it was short and blond, I looked in the mirror and saw my grandmother looking back at me. I put the wig back on for a couple of months until I bought a hair iron. Momma always had a tight permanent and short grey hair.


"This hurts me more than It does you."
When I was growing up, my stepfather used to tell me that I would be pretty if I lost weight. No one else seemed to have a problem with my weight. In fact, I wish I weighed now what I weighed then. Sometimes it seems like I ate because I didn't want to be pretty to him. As you may have guessed, I didn't like him very much. He was not a nice man. He did get better as he got older, but that was because we didn't listen to him any more. We never could understand that my mother felt she had to stay with him to survive. I forgave him long ago for his transgressions. That is something we have to do to survive and have a good life. Forgiving someone benefits you much more than it does them.

Nowadays, people don't hang on to marriage, they bail out before it gets too bad, unless there is abuse. Women leave their husbands because they meet a better mate or because they just don't love their husbands anymore. It took me 15 years to break out of a marriage to an alcoholic. It was so difficult just to live with him. He made me miserable. Most times, men don't leave their wives and children unless there is another woman in the background. Men will stay with women, just because they think they can't do any better. What ever happened to working on a marriage? My present husband and I have a wonderful relationship. We talk about everything. no secrets.

Do you think children are a lot more protected now than when you were growing up? I remember going out in the morning and being told to be back for dinner. Sometimes we took sandwiches and laid on blankets under trees and talked and talked. We lived on a military base in England and people were always moving in or out. That means lots of boxes. We used the boxes to make all kinds of things: Tunnels, hospitals, etc. We doctored our dolls and made clothes for them. I was becoming a pretty good dress designer at the age of 10. We knew we were supposed to be home for dinner, then we could go out again until dark. My grandchildren cannot go outside without an adult and they will be 11 in July. It is not like they live in town. They live about 20 miles out from any town and cannot even play in the backyard by themselves. I worry what all this protection will do to them. Will they be afraid of responsibility when they get  older?

These were and examples of what I would like to chat with others about. Know a funny, clean joke. We want to hear it.

So come join me, sign up and follow #BloggerMom. I am still working on the set-up. If you want to guest post, send to barbarapduke@yahoo.com.

Have a great day!